Is it possible to find fulfillment in a monogamous relationship, or is it just a pipedream we are chasing?
When you ask some people about how they would describe monogamy, they may liken it to monotony, routine, and other adjectives that would lead you to believe it is a boring chore that we do out of necessity, not because we want to.
We are going to discuss that very topic today. Do you think it’s possible for two people to satisfy one another on the many different aspects of their life for any given period of time? Keep in mind that we aren’t talking about monogamy after being in a relationship for a year or two—we mean a long term relationships that are in the double digits like 10 or more years. We want to know if you think that your partner for that long can still keep your feeling emotionally, sexually, and intellectually stimulated after all this time?
It’s interesting to discover that many men who reach their late 30s and up tend to be focusing more on finding someone who they want to settle down with, rather than continuing their playboy ways and sleep with countless women. Perhaps, what’s even more interesting is that men who think they are ready for a monogamous relationship go in to the search for “the one” with trepidation because they’ve wanted a serious relationship in the past, but weren’t able to make it work for them. Many of these men simply weren’t ready to give their partner’s that emotional commitment that is needed to make a monogamous relationship work.
What’s a monogamous relationship?
A monogamous relationship is a relationship where both partners are committed to giving their all to the other person and only get intimate with their partner, whether sexually, emotionally, and otherwise.
Are all relationships going to end with failure?
People are fickle creatures and the only way to tell if your relationship will work out or if it will fail is in the way your mind works. Love and relationships riddled with complexities and at our core, our basic instincts tell us to procreate to keep the species alive. However, we know that we also crave and need security and emotional stability; two things that do not go hand in hand with having multiple partners.
For that one part of your brain that wants to seek someone else to have an intimate relationship with, there is that other part that wants a stress free relationship that provides you an emotional security blanket and a happy romance with the person you’re in a relationship. Sure, you may be experiencing stress in the home, which could cause you to want to dabble in the naughty pool, most of us generally recognize that this will cause a lot more trouble in the long run.
Understanding the mind of a monogamous person.
Monogamy is based off of a certain set of rules that society expects us to follow, and there are some people who cannot accept these rules. For these people, it doesn’t mean that they can never be in a satisfying relationship with someone. In fact, it can be one of the more satisfying relationships if you discuss with your partner your concerns and you both set mutual rules within the relationship of what is and isn’t acceptable.
There is no denying that we as a species tends to generally prefer monogamous relationships, but there are those who prefer a polygamist lifestyle. Today, we are more sexual and we are tempted by sexual imagery than ever before, thus making the idea of straying so much more appealing.
Monogamy vs. Polygamy
It may seem like a fantasy to have multiple lovers with whom you can have little trysts with whenever you want, but the truth is, even if you do live that lifestyle, there is no guarantee that you will find fulfillment or happiness. While you may enjoy the freedom to sow your seeds wherever you want, the lack of a true and committed bond could leave you feeling only partially satisfied.
In order to have a monogamous relationship, you’ve got to understand a few things:
- Understand what you could lose
- Understand what you could gain
- Be honest about your sexual desires with your partner
- Satisfy your desires before the urges get out of control
- Affairs aren’t all they are cracked up to be
A monogamous relationship is hard work, but you can keep the love alive by introducing new activities into the fray, just be creative and talk it over with your partner first.