The relationship advice you may have gotten in your 20s won’t work as well once you hit your 40s because this is the time when you usually want to find someone that you’ll be settling down with. We’ve asked the members of MatureDating.com what kind of advice they wish they had known when they were dating in their 20s. Here are the top responses.
1. Share the Same Morals
Once you hit 40, you are going to want to find someone with a similar background and share the same morals with you. This is important when you want to settle down because you’ll be having kids. It will be incredible difficult to raise the children if you don’t see eye to eye on how to raise them.
2. Pick Your Battles
Every relationship will have its fair share of arguments. As a mature adult, you don’t want to squabble over every little thing that you disagree with. Instead, choose your battles wisely. When you’re older, that need to prove your right usually goes away and you can feel yourself becoming more relaxed. Only fight when you feel passionate about it.
3. Say Goodbye to a Stagnant Relationship
When we are young, we tend to stay in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere simply because we feel that we are so deeply in love and we will never feel this feeling again. The truth is, you will and if your relationship isn’t moving in the direct that you want, you shouldn’t have to settle.
4. Date Only Men
Don’t waste your time on boys—it’s simple as that. Sure, he may be wearing a suit and tie, and he may have the body of a man, but once you take all that away and he has nothing more to offer you, then he is a boy. These man-child type of guy may look the part, but they only want to find someone who will take care of them instead of being seen as an equal.
5. It’s Okay to Depend on Him Once in a While
Ladies, it is okay to lean on your guy when things get rough. Sure, we know you’ve worked hard to become the strong independent women that you are today, but guys like to feel useful, feel manly. When you do things on your own and don’t ask for his help, he’ll start to wonder what he is there for. And feeling useless is never fun.
6. Recognize What You’ve Got
When you hit your 40s, it’s much easier to recognize a great guy. Some examples include if he has a career rather than a job. Does he treat you like a respected equal? Does his personality make him stand out in a good way? These qualities are essential and the easiest to recognize in a great guy.
7. Realizes Your Family Matters
Family is everything, and when you’re in your 40s, you really understand this. You’ll want to find a man who recognizes that while his family is important, so is yours. He will make every effort to value their opinion, respect their values, and cherish the time you spend with them… Mind you, this is a two way street! You have to be as accepting of his family as well.