7 Tough Truths About Dating a Divorced Man and Making it Work

how to date a divorced man advice

If you want to date a divorced man, there are a few terrible truths that you’ll have to deal with first.

#1 Timing is everything. Before even thinking about dating a divorced man, first, know where the divorce really stands. Is he going through the divorce process? How long has his divorce process been going on? Knowing where the divorce stands, and where he stands in the divorce, tells you just how committed he is in a potential relationship with you, and if you should be serious about the relationship.

#2 You may have to be discreet for a while. So your boyfriend may be divorced, but that doesn’t mean he’s divorced entirely from his old life. He’s still friends with those who are also friends with his ex. Entertain the idea that he may not be too thrilled to integrate you into his circle too soon. He probably expects you to be discreet about your relationship for a while.

#3 So hold-off on social media. With being discreet comes social media restrictions. Discretion doesn’t just come mean hidden from the public. Keep your dates to yourself, too. Only don’t advertise your relationship on social media just yet, especially if the divorce proceedings started. Unless you want to be portrayed as the home-wrecker.

#4 He’s been there, done that. He may not feel as excited about the whole idea of marriage, especially after coming off a rough one. So don’t date him waiting for a proposal. The thing is, he might be jaded about the whole thing after what he experienced. On the upside, everything in his life is pretty much figured out—kids, house, finances, and all that.

#5 You’ll hear all about the ex. Be prepared to have conversations about his ex, especially if the divorce proceedings are underway. You may ask him, “How was your day?” He’ll answer stoically with, “I talked to her *the soon-to-be ex-wife*, and she wouldn’t agree to the terms of the divorce.” Then he might go on an angry and bitter tirade of how selfish, awful, or stubborn his ex is. Be secure enough about yourself to hear about the ex without overanalyzing things or taking it all too personally.

#6 Don’t dig for the details. While you lend your support for whatever your boyfriend goes through, you don’t have to know every detail of the divorce and even his past relationship. While it’s natural to be curious, don’t be too pushy. Whatever you want to know, wait until your man is comfortable enough to tell you about it. Besides, he’s trying to move on from the relationship. Stop reminding him of his ex by making him rehash the old times.

#7 You may even meet his ex. If he shared responsibilities with his ex like children or pet, be prepared to cross paths with the ex sooner or later. While awkward, be polite and learn to set boundaries for yourself and for them as a divorced couple. Either of them might still be bitter about their past marriage or the divorce. You might find yourself in the middle of it all. Just remember to try to be the bigger person and don’t make the situation worse for your guy.