Whether you’ve been dating someone for a long time, you’ve gone through a divorce, or you find yourself widowed, dating again can be a challenge. It’s unnerving to realize that you have to go through the whole process of finding a partner again and the idea of it is just overwhelming. Why, even the dating landscape may have changed over the years since your last proper date.
Eventually, as time goes by, you’ll find that you don’t want to be alone anymore and you are ready to put yourself out there. You’ll be more open to the idea of falling in love again and you may even take steps to make yourself ready. You could have changed your image by getting a makeover, getting a new wardrobe, or getting into shape. You may have enlisted the help of your friends to set you up with someone they think you may be interested in. Why, you may have even been pro-active and signed up for a dating site or two.
With all of these preparations, there are three things you have to make sure you do before you start looking for a new partner.
- Decide what you want in a new mate.
One of the biggest mistakes singles tend to do when dating again is sticking to their “type.” Nine times out of ten, their ex fit right into that type and we all know how that went. Instead of falling back on what you think you want, sit down and really consider what your ideal mate would be. Who are they? What qualities are you most attracted to? What do they look like? How do they make you feel?
When you understand what you are looking for, you’ll have a better chance of knowing what you don’t want, thus helping you date accordingly.
- Stop being angry at the ex.
Yes, after going through a divorce, breakup, or a death, you are bound to hold some kind of anger, resentment, or remorse over the previous relationship. It’s only natural that you still have some feelings there. However, before you start dating again, you have to sort through those residual feelings and unresolved emotions. Any negativity that you feel toward your ex are bound to make an appearance while dating someone new, so it is best to go into dating with a clear mind and no ill-will toward the previous relationship.
- Get excited to date again!
Let’s face it, dating again isn’t something we look forward to doing. This doesn’t mean you should treat it like you’re going in for a colonoscopy! Dating should be exciting and met with vigor. You should feel excited by the possibility of falling in love with someone new, someone who is able to give you what your ex couldn’t. You can only do this by being positive and open to the idea of dating.
When you’re able to go through these three steps successfully, you are ready to date again. Granted you may make mistakes along the way, but mistakes are meant to be learned from. Let every date you go on teach you something new until you find the person that you have incredible chemistry with and everything falls into place perfectly.