10 Things Every Divorcee Should Do Before Dating Again

dating in your-50

The time you should take after a divorce to start dating again depends on the person. One thing is certain though, there are some things you should keep in mind before you jump into dating again—let you find yourself in a rebound relationship. Rebounds never work out and sometimes can only cause you more pain. Here are ten things you should do before you dive back into the dating pool.

1. Have a Letting Go Ceremony

If you know that you gave your marriage your all and you know that there is no chance of reconciling with the ex, then you don’t want to hold onto negative feelings. Resentment and anger doesn’t do anyone any good; in fact they can be quite destructive. After you’ve given yourself enough time to grieve, give yourself a “Letting Go” ceremony with your close friends. This will give you the chance to say goodbye to the married you, and hello to the single you.

2. Reflect on Your Marriage

Now that you are single, you can look objectively at your marriage. You want to analyze what may have went wrong—whether in the relationship or choice in partner. This isn’t meant to bring up sore wounds, but it is a lesson so you know what to do (and not to do) for the future.

3. Reconnect with Friends

A divorce is a hard thing to go through alone, which is why you need your friends and family around for support. These people will help take your mind off things, they’ll let you rant, and they’ll let you cry. The people you hold dear will be the ones that will help you heal.

4. Get Help from a Professional

As much as we love our friends, they are biased when it comes to giving you advice. A professional will give you an unbiased view on what happened and how you can move on.

5. Get Your Thoughts Together

After a divorce, your life may feel like a mess. Before you can get out there and find love again, you have to get your own life in order. You will want to take whatever steps necessary that will help rebuild your self-confidence.

6. Make Sure the Kids are Okay

That is, if you have kids. If you do, you want to make sure they are in a stable environment and you’ve got things under control.

7. Get a Life

When you’re married, your life then revolves around your spouse. Now that you are single again, you have to reacquaint yourself with activities that you enjoy doing. You want to go out and socialize with people and have fun!

8. Make New Friends

Instead of hitting the singles bar and potentially getting into bed with someone, join a group where there are other singles who aren’t looking for a love connection. These groups can include a new class, a volunteer group, or just hanging out at a library or something low key. When you make new friends, you’re surrounding yourself with people that you can connect with on a platonic level.

9. No “Netflix and Chill”

Sure that guy who hit on you while waiting at the groomers is cute and charming, you don’t want to get sucked in right away. When you’re talking to him, pay attention to what the guy says. He will give you clues of his intentions.

10. Date Like Your Grandparents

Dating is like a song and dance—it cannot be forced and it has to be paired perfectly in order for it to make sense. When you take the time to take things slow and actually date, you’ll be able to build a relationship that will last.