If you’re a single parent and you meet another person who also has kids and you start dating, it’s going to be inevitable that you’re going to want to talk about your kids and maybe even ask for advice for certain situations.
While this is great and all, it can still cause some trouble somewhere down the road. Sometimes it could even lead to arguments over which kid is “better” than the other, which is never good for the relationship.
We’ve got some advice to help stop yourself from going on a “my kid is better than yours” tirade.
Don’t talk badly about your date’s children.
We don’t care if the little rug-rat is the devil incarnate, you don’t want to talk badly about them… Even if the comments are hurtful. For example, let’s say your child is excelling in math but your date’s child is struggling, you don’t want to say “Susie is doing so well in Math. If only your son had a tutor like her, he’d be doing great!” By saying something like this, it could be a sore spot for the other parent. Maybe the child has a learning disability and it makes it difficult to process things. You never know and you certainly don’t want to offend.
Don’t jump to the opportunity to offer advice.
We like to think that our parenting skills are on point and everyone could learn a thing or two from us, but the truth is, we all have our own ways of parenting our children. With that said, offering unsolicited advice to your date on how to rear their child isn’t a good idea—especially if your parenting style is completely different than their own. For example, if you suggest that you send them to their room with no supper, you may not completely understand their punishment. Maybe the child doesn’t eat with the family and they have to go to their room until dinner is done. Maybe the child eats a different dinner alone. You just never know.
Don’t insist that kids are all the same.
Although they are young, kids are pint-sized adults who are unique and are continuing to grow into individuals, so to say that all kids are equal are almost the same as assuming that your children are better than others. This is especially true if your date has a child with special needs who cannot participate in the same sort of activities as your child can. Likewise, you don’t want to be bitter because their child may have scored more points in the game than your child… Not all kids have the same talents, that’s all.
Focus on every child’s unique strengths.
Every child has their own sets of skills and talents that make them special. Focus on those things rather than focusing on what they cannot do. This will make the relationship with their children that much better and in turn, it will help keep your relationship with their parent run a little smoother as well.
Dating a single parent who also has children can be a fantastic way to include your children in your dating life, and when you keep these four bits of advice in mind, you might be able to forge a bond with both your date and their children.