How Meeting Men in Your 30s is Different From Your 20s

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Among the plethora of changes that come with turning 30, women who are looking for love must alter their expectations when it comes to finding love. Although they can’t afford to be as relaxed about it as they might have been in their 20s, when they are looking for that deep connection in their 30s, it means that the reward will be greater.

What this requires is a realistic look at where they are and the type of men who could be good matches and a better plan in finding that dream mate. We’ve asked a few relationship experts for their thoughts on how meeting men change once you move from your 20s to your 30s.

Going from having the first choice to being someone else’s second choice. While in your 20s, you felt like you could hold the world in your hands. You could choose any kind of man you wanted to be with—often choosing the bad boy because you thought you could change him. However, now that you’re in your 30s, you don’t hold the same allure in men’s eyes as you once did. Though you may not be men’s first pick (most of them want a young woman in her 20s), you can still meet quality guys who will want to be with you just as you are.

Going from opportunity finding you to you having to find it for yourself. Meeting men your own age when you’re young seems like a piece of cake. However, things aren’t so easy once you hit 30. You’ll find that the men you want to date are already married, and you have to put in the work to meet men. Gone are the wonderful days when you could walk into the club and have to beat the men off with a stick. Now? Well, now you’re going to have to rely on more than just a pretty smile. The upside of that is it gives you the chance to be more in control of your dating life.

Going from unplanned encounters to using strategies to meet men. When you are younger, you could be more relaxed about meeting men and dating; however now that you’re in your 30s, you can’t be quite so laissez-faire about it. You’ll have to be more strategic, like joining a sports team where there are singles in their 30s, or networking events or even group activities.

Going from looking for the top dog to the average Joe. Younger women tend to want to date a man who is the “top dog” among his friends. However, men who are a little more average are especially desirable to women because usually, they come with less possibility of getting roped into some kind of drama, and who at this age really wants to deal with that?

Going from searching for a spark to appreciating the slow burning flame. Instead of searching for that spark when meeting someone, women in their 30s can focus on nurturing a relationship so that the flame burns long, even if it isn’t as intense as it once was. A long-burning love is much more satisfying than a quick burst of passion any day, don’t you think?

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