This is How We Date Now


Singles today don’t see the point in committing. They say there are too many fish in the sea to settle down right now, and that couldn’t be more truthful than it is today. With so many online dating websites and dating apps, we potentially have the entire world’s population at our fingertips.

Our ideas of intimacy isn’t a tender embrace or a passionate kiss, it’s a well-executed conversation told completely via emojis. We think that a “good morning” text is a sufficient amount of effort. We like to think that romance is dead, but it isn’t… It’s just on life support and it requires a bit of TLC. Perhaps romance just means we have to delete Tinder from your phone once you’ve met someone you click well with. Maybe… Just maybe, we simply cannot recognize it.

When we do choose to commit, we still have an eye out for something better that may come along the way. We want a delicious lobster that is cooked to perfection, but we are too busy looking at the lackluster buffet because we want choice. We are under the impression that by having a choice, we have some kind of advantage. The truth is by having so many options available to us, whether it be the kind of cereal to have in the morning, where to get our gas or even the person we want to spend our lives with, we are on sensory overload. We think there is something better out there and we should never have to settle.

If we are unsatisfied with our choice, we find a way to desensitize ourselves from the demons that wrestle in our heads. If we are unable to cope with our own demons, how can we ever hope to stick with something, to love someone, to see things to the end if things should get hard? Too often, we jump ship. We pack our bags and go. We think that the grass is greener somewhere else, and we do it so effortlessly, it would make previous generations cringe. We have the ability to change our situations with great ease and little consequence. Yes, it is true that we have the ability to do this, but we don’t always do it. The beauty of it all is that we have the choice to do it if we want to—even if our bank accounts prevent us from doing so.

We live vicariously through the lives of others. Social media gives us a still representation of what it would be like to live in someone else’s shoes for a time.

When we do find that ultimate connection, that perfect love that we’ve been praying for, we commit. We dive head first into intimacy. We surround ourselves with this burning love that laid dormant for so long. We do it, not only for ourselves but for those who are in the positions we once were in. We display our happiness for the world to see on social media as if to show proof that love is possible for everyone, you just need to believe. We paint this picture that everything is sunshine and rainbows, even though there are rough waters below.

We are the generation of choosers and the generation of individuals who are never satisfied. When we commit to someone, we do it with blind abandon, but we never fully commit because once things get too difficult, we run. This is how we date.