After suffering the pain of a relationship ending due to a divorce or any other reason, it can be hard to get back out there and try to move on with their lives, let alone try to date again. For many, the very idea of getting back into the dating game is a challenge. The damage that is usually left behind is much deeper than the surface because you don’t feel the joy and trust that you once had before.
For those who want to find love, you could be hurting your chances of falling in love because you are doing one these three things that prevent you from finding your happiness.
Looking for love too soon
Life after a divorce or a death requires a period of mourning. That period is important for you to work out your feelings of the loss and to reconcile the fact that other person is no longer in your life. When we try to jump back into dating too soon after this loss, we aren’t giving ourselves enough time to processes the new change. You have to come to terms with the realization that you’re life isn’t the same and that you have to be your own person now. In a way, you have to be okay with being single before you can fall in love again, and many seniors feel like their time for love is running out so they have to be proactive in finding it—even when they aren’t ready.
Let go of the bitterness
When you find yourself in a situation where your life is in upheaval because that other person you were married to is no longer there, of course it is going to stir up some mixed feelings. You’re probably going to feel bitter, angry, sad, and confused. These toxic emotions can work their way into your life and infect everything positive that you may be trying to achieve—including looking for love. By letting go of your emotional baggage, you are coming to terms that your relationship is over and that life will go on. For many people, they often find it a huge release when they are able to say, “I am over it, I no longer harbor ill feelings toward that part of my life,” that they can allow themselves to be happy again.
Finding love in the right places.
Too often when we go through a divorce or a death of a spouse, we look for love in the wrong places. We feel like we have to rush back into it and not take into consideration the type of people we may be dating or the kind of lifestyle we are adopting in order to meet singles. When you are truly ready to date again should you look for love. If you aren’t sure about where, online dating sites are a good option for you to test the waters. These sites give you a chance to look at various aspects of the person and get to know them a little bit, even before sending them a “hello” message, thus making you feel a little safer and more secure with you decision to date again.